torn_heartsx3

ahh im about to get ready to go out but im bored....
so the other day i was told i'd be a hot lesbian, which i took as a compliment lol, then someone told me i was an amazing person and their so glad they met me. =] i felt good after that =]

im realllly upset my mom is such an assholeeeeeee, it really makes no sense...

Wow. So im at the auto school downtown watching that 5 hour video. Omgg its sooo boring. Its from like 90 years agooooo! Theres a scary sign on the wall and the tv's deff. From the 50s. I cant sit here for 4 more hoursss.....

so yesterday was estebans 19th birthdayy and we went to club one in queens and danced all nighttt. soooooo funnnn =]   too bad im not 18 cuz i wanna go again soo badddd. 

and we got first place again yesterdayy =]
we were soo scaredd steph squeezing my leg soo hardd when they were announcing scoress
Bunnell was talking shit about us in the bathroom but olga had to flush the toilet so we dont know what they said.....but it wasnt good. im sooo glad we beat them, they took allll our work, their pretty much doing our show in a different order, those 45's, tripods, exchanges, rifle tosses, ground feature?  like come on write your own work.....

 so yesterday....
couldnt stop laughing on teh way there
couldnt stop crying on the way back..... 

so last week at regionals we made finals!!  we had 2 (yes two, prelims adn finalss ahh!) amazingggg showss =]   Port Chester is officially on Replay at  WGI.org =]   it was amazing, 16 hours of sitting on hard wooden bleachers  with a bunch of colorguards  (and hott gay guys)  around us, watching winterguards is kinda what i live for.  i dont know what im gonna do next year without the seniors =/




but enought about that, its angies birthday woohoo! i <3 that girl, we dont hang out nearly enough anymore.  i miss our old group soo much......

 oh god this week. my moms in texas and my sisters arnt here for the most part sooo yeahhh =]  

regional saturdayyy!! im soo excited. i hopeeeee we make finals. if we do i know me and olga will deff. be crying. okay so winterguard =] first place 4 (?) weeks ina  row =]  undefeated so far =]   its kinda amazingg.

woo ! we got first place on saturday!!!!! i got a video of our show on my camera, i'll put it up as soon as i get the cord back. after the competition me and alaina met juan holly and sergio at mcdonalds and we went out from there. beach again. it was freezing though. and im now a professional fence climber =]   no im totally kidding i still suckk
and i passed the math b regents with a 66!!! i never have to worry about stupid law of sines again!!( not that i ever really knew what that was but still)  yayy! so that part of my weekend was like reallllllly good. but today i'm feeling pretty shitty. idky. i dont wanna go back to school tomorrow and have a study hall second period. ughh. i dont want 2 study halls every other day thats stupid.  i cant wait till like feburary, januarys soo boring. idky.  trs concertttt!!!! oh my im excitedd! like you dont even understand im pumped.i wanna go to the new haven one too!!
i want hillary to be president. i think its clearly time for a woman president.....
 

i havent updated in forever!

things are weird i guess. idk. i miss the old us. the old group. but i guess it can never be the same. 
winterguard! (everytime i post its about colorguard!?) its pretty good, im not gonna lie its kinda awesome. first place woo! ahh midterms! scary! i really have to start studying more cuz these tests were no so much.....
so i went to the beach last night adn the night before. it was kinda freezing but it was really fun.

i gtg i'll finish this later......

woohoo
im going to ocean city tomorrow with alaina for a week!!
yayy
then the day i come back my mom is going to texas, but shes gogin early in teh morning so i wont get a chance to see her  till she comes back on the 20th =[
i think shes kinda upset i wont see her for 16 days but idk what to do

im suchh a colorguard freak, im atualllly excited about practice, we're starting weapon tonighttttt wooohoooooo!!!  if this was the middle of the season and we had to do a weapon block i'd be absolutely hating it, but i love trying out for weaponn
ahh and the work this year isnt anything like last years, i think now he puts us on a higher level of learning because of this winter and the new kids are catchign on pretttty welll. well im realllllly exciteddd....and tired, i wish i could actually sleep for once. and zalex is in californiaaa looking at collegess!!! how weird does that sound, we actually have to start looking at colleges? its terrifying, it feels like yesterday we were just going into 9th grade.....now we're juniors ahhh!
i gtg get ready 
<3

wow
this summers a bit crazy
i dont even know, but im having a lot of fun, except i really wish i worked at a camp now cuz i have liek no money
ahh we're gonna be upperclassmennnnn!! im soo scared about losing our seniors. i went to the movies  a few weeks ago with 3 other people who all happen to be seniors and they were like "how does it feel to be hanging out witha bunch of seniors!?" thats when i was liek OMG, i dont wanna lose them. this year better be a thousand times better than last year, and i have a feeling it will be

so anywayssss
its 2:20 am and im reallllllly bored
theres nothign to do........

so anyway i was having a  little chatttchatchat with zalex teh other day and she said sometihgn about missing the old group and how it'd never be the same again no matter what, i guess it wont, i mean i dont think its even possible, but i dont think its necessarily a bad thing either, like no one says we can never hang out again in our  "group" but we all have just grown separate ways, we may not be as close anymore but we're all still friends i think, i dont even know


and im realllllly tired of stupid little girls
seriously grow up
but what can i expect....after all this is high school

yooo
i shouldnt have quit sun
im an idiot
i quit to get a job and i STILL dont have a job!! not cool yo....not cool

yesterday i went to the park with some cool kids for a little bitwhich was pretty cool
&& last night was the funnest night i've had in a while, after colorguard i went to rye with alaina and ginamarie and was dying of laughter the ENTIRE night, it was the funniest thing ever.
this mornign i went to the beach with alaina to tan it was hilarious, the entire thing.after i went to greenwhich ave with my aunt, then she took me driving!! woo, oh yeah i got my permit on tuesdayy

then kristine has prom tonight so i have to see her at somepoint, then teh traditional before leaving for camp Q night and sleepover =]
then friday mornign were goign to the beach again, then i might be goign outttt with alaina and phillip nicole and christian cuz we havent done that in a while so why not
then staurday beach.... again!! i <3 the beach

somone who was pretty much my second mom to me all my life was just diagnosed with breast cancer. i think i spent more time at her house than i did at my own....

okay everyones like "omg i hate myself" but seriously you all need to get over that, believe me i know how hard it is, i hate myself too but think about it, if you were skinnier you'd have the same friends, the same school , the same tests and teh same problems. you think its gonna fix everything but it wont, seriously, it wont

i love how on one page of a magazine its liek "NICOLE RICHIE IS WASTING AWAY!!!" then on the next page its like "TINE TURNER(or whoever) IS GAING WEIGHT, SHES SO FAT" when it was a picture of a NORMAL girl. they wonder why no one eats, like its a mystery
i hate magazines

i hate when people tell me i'm pretty, it's like they have to tell you that because they dont want you to feel bad about being ugly. i hate it so much, its liek their lying to me right to my face

last night was kind of insane
espically sonia.....i <3 my friends. i'd be soo bored without them

apparentely im the worst child in my family and i dont derserve well, anything.
this is really great, helping my self esteem alot
i hate my family life

ahh i was just thinking about it, i have to wait until november to do winterguard stuff again?!!? wtf, thast like....6 months ahhhh!!!! next year will be more amazing than this year if everything goes as planned.....ahhh i cant wait. idky i quit sunrisers, it was probably the stupidest thing ever, i should just suck it up and do itcuz the work was amazing, darrens so dissappointed in me ahh, face

ew i just remembered i hate having both my sisters home. they gang up on me and scream at me all teh time. i cant do anyting with out them judging me. like its ridiculous.....after all tehy did to me when i was younger you'd thikn they'd stop torturing me, but i guess not